I am a hypocrite

I just went back and reread a post of mine from July. Um, can you say, HYPOCRITE?" Here's what I wrote:

Note to writers: I don't care which preschool your three-year old will attend in the fall nor do I care how difficult it was to get him into said school. And, I hate to break it to you: I have little interest in your daughter's first birthday party and the hoops you had to jump to pull it off. I just can't seem to care. Is that horrible?

Yes, I actually wrote that AND wrote the post below this past weekend:

A very cute Petra Bear is laying next to me sound asleep...and no wonder, today was the birthday party to end all birthday parties. Not even the crappy weather could keep the 35+ revelers from eating, drinking and moon-bouncing. Everyone seemed to have a good time, including the Bear who made out like a bandit. I don't think I've ever seen so many toys in one place at one time...save Toys R Us.Now how do we top this next year. Just kidding, of course.

So, let me just take back what I wrote all those long months ago....I really *do* care about your daughter's first birthday party and I think it's admirable that you'd want to write about it.

Kit Kats

Did I ever tell you how much I *love* Kit Kats? Seriously, the Kit Kat is the BEST candy on this earth. And now that it's available in a dark chocolate flavor, I am even more in love.

So why do I tell you this? Because I just received the sweetest present in the mail from a new colleague. Yep, you guessed it - Kit Kats; three KING-sized candy bars (440 calories each pack!), no less. No, they're not Buffet tix, I'll give you that, but a good Kit Kat is a welcome and appreciated surprise anytime.

What to watch...what to watch.

I have no idea what I want to watch on TV this season! There are actually a few shows I'm looking forward to all of which will require me to DVR. But that's okay because I love my DVR (i.e., no commercials, no boring parts, no scene stealers, etc.).

Here's a partial list (only because these are the only shows I can think of at the moment) of the shows I'm anxious to catch:

• Lost. Of course. There was never any doubt that this would top my list
• Ugly Betty. I have very high hopes for this show. Of course, it runs opposite Survivor so the DVR will be necessary
• Survivor. I'm strangely drawn to this show no matter how inane the groupings seem.
• The Biggest Loser. Again, it's like a train wreck that I just can't pass up. I love it.

And please don't think me incredibly sappy or sentimental, but I love Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. I watched it last night and cried my friggen' eyes out. I'll be back for more.

I am sure there are others, but this is my short list.

My Super Sweet 16

Anyone watch this inane, over-the-top, my-father-is-a-big-shot-and-will-buy-me-whatever-I-want-to-stop-my-whining pretense of a show? I mean, it gives reality TV a bad name, and that's hard to do.

I only watched it because I was flipping through the stations looking for something to watch and came upon this train wreck of a show about a girl named Marissa whose father owns three Mitsubishi dealerships. People, she got two cars for her birthday. Not one, but two. A black SUV and a first-of-its-kind red Eclipse convertible.

But what really got me (and Al, back me up on this) was that everything at her party had to be pink--the food, the chocolate fountain, the dresses (note the plural) AND HER DOGS. Yes, she dyed her two poodles pink so they'd match the party.

Oh, and let's not forget the mansion her father rented for this shindig...it cost $50K to rent for the evening.

I'd really like to drop this Marissa into a New Orleans hurricane-ravaged neighborhood and see how she'd fare. My biggest fear is that she'd get on that jewel-encrusted pink Motorola Razr and have her daddy fly in a helicopter (with her two pink poodles looking out the window) to "save her" from the common folk.

She is the epitome of greed at 16. It's the saddest thing I've ever seen.

That's one tired pumpkin!

A very cute Petra Bear is laying next to me sound asleep...and no wonder, today was the birthday party to end all birthday parties. Not even the crappy weather could keep the 35+ revelers from eating, drinking and moon-bouncing. Everyone seemed to have a good time, including the Bear who made out like a bandit. I don't think I've ever seen so many toys in one place at one time...save Toys R Us.

Now how do we top this next year. Just kidding, of course.

PARTY Preparations

Hamburgers...$13.99.

Beer...$24.99.

Too many freakin' Ariel decorations/supplies/toys strewn throughout the house...$125.00.

A sleeping child? Priceless.

Back on Terra Firma...

Finally. I'm really not made to travel as much as I did this past week, even as nice as The Phoenician (yes!) and the Baltimore Marriott (not!) were.

I need to find many, many things to do around my office so I don't have to go anywhere for a long while...oh, except for a planned girl outing to NYC. *That* I am definitely looking forward to.

I'm so tired...

...And the fact that I have to get on another plane in less than 12 hours is doing nothing to help my mood.

But of course, I can't go to sleep. There's too much to do! Petra turns THREE tomorrow and that means I have to bake cupcakes tonight (bakery store varieties don't work because they may or may not contain traces of nuts), wrap her gift and sign her card.

What? What did you ask? Yes, I feel incredibly guilty for leaving her on her birthday. No, there is nothing I can do about it. Yes, it sucks that I've been on the road for four days and have come home only to turn around again tomorrow.

Happy?

The Phoenician

What can I say? It may be one of the most beautiful resorts I've ever been to. And although I'm not a resort whore, I have been to my share of lovely and posh places. This one just might top them all (perhaps not as lovely as the place in the south of France, but still waaaay up there).

I think --at this very moment --I understand why people move to Arizona. Yes, it gets hot...but man, is it beautiful.

Bagged greens

Ugh. I eat them every week...usually more than once. And now I'm supposed to stop OR wash them in warm water before I eat them.

Damn bacteria. How in the hell is a person on a low carb diet ever supposed to manage without bagged greens? Wait, let me rephrase: How in the hell is a person on a low-carb diet--someone who just happens to be the laziest person on the planet--ever supposed to manage without bagged greens?

Who is your stylist, Julie Chen?

He or she should be fired! Let's face it: you're very thin and very cute but you can't dress to save your life. The blouse was bad enough; with its pale color and bow tacked to the front, it's no wonder people mistake you for a librarian.

But the pants. Let me tell you, those pants were just horrible! The high waist was unflattering and let's face it, they didn't fit you all that well. They were pulling at the hips, for cry eye! You looked, well, chunky...and we all know that's not the case.

Look, I don't want to be the next Fug girl, but I do have to call 'em like I see 'em. __________

Oh, and good for you Mike Boogie. You really made Erika look like a complete idiot "ho" last night. And apparently the jury admired your "playing" over her game play.

What could be better....

...than spending a weekend here?














Methinks not much.

But wait, that picture just doesn't do it justice. To *really* check out The Phoenician, visit their Web site.

My heart just breaks...

...for Anna Nicole Smith. I don't care who you or what you've done in your past, you shouldn't have to bury your child.

I can only imagine how devastated she is and it must be so much worse to have the news plastered publicly. CNN picked it up for cry eye!

I just hope she's able to grieve in peace.

Oh, and of course, I woke up fifteen times last night to check on my daughter's breathing...

She makes me feel so guilty!

Yesterday, Natche and I went to the Pats game, as we do most Sundays in the fall. We tailgate with a huge crowd of people, most of whom we only see during football season. You can only imagine how much fun we have and how much food and alcohol is consumed. It's pretty amazing.

And no, we don't take the Pet. She stays with her Nana and Dziadek during the games and we leave her happy in the knowledge that she she'll play and have fun with her grandparents.

Or will she? We returned from yesterday's game to a brooding child who told me, point blank, "You left me. You went to the football game and you left me. With Nana. And I cried."

What? She's not supposed to be upset when we leave! She's supposed to have fun with her grandparents and beg us to let her stay. Or at the very least, she's not supposed to articulate her feelings in such a way that it drives the deepest dagger into my heart. I feel like the cruelest mother on the planet.

Can you imagine how she's going to react when I go on my business trips next week???

Angie, Angie, Angie...

"Mentally, I'm jogging."

Gosh, wouldn't it be great if we didn't have to *actually* jog, but instead could just think about jogging and will away the pounds???

Angie, methinks you need a serious reality check.

Sigh

It's going to get much, much worse before it gets better.

September 5th at 10:30 am

The baby is in her first dance class as we speak! I hope she LOVES it.

A rant

How is it that it is already September? People, please tell me where the summer went. Seriously. It's already September 5th.
September 5th!

Yesterday, we went to the ice cream stand at the local nursery and in her spare time, the girl behind the counter was making Christmas bows. I KID YOU NOT.

It's no wonder I had a helluva time getting out of bed this morning. I abhor winter (not the clothes, mind you, they're fabulous) and the thought that we are that much closer to it makes me sooo incredibly sad.

What is there to look forward to? My birthday? Um, not really. I've recently started to dread those too. Christmas? No thanks. It's such a crazy holiday followed by three months of winter tundra-like conditions.

Sigh. Maybe I need to start doing a vacation in February...going to some warm-weather destination. It could really break up the winter... Yes, I think that might be the answer.

230!

How does a 36-year old woman who has NEVER smoked, is not overweight and eats fairly well have high cholesterol? Two-hundred and friggen' thirty.

I'm like that woman in the commercial, aren't I? You know the one: she knocks over all of the surfboards because she has high cholesterol even though to the viewer she is the picture of perfect health.

Lipitor, here I come.

Dance Class

My baby starts dance class on Tuesday and gymnastics on Thursday. Can you believe it? I had no idea they started these things so soon! On Friday, Petra and I had to run to the dance store (partly because Payless didn't have anymore tap & ballet shoes in her size and partly because I secretly wanted to take her to the dance store) and purchase all of the necessary paraphernalia one associates with dance class.

$60 later...
We have ballet shoes, tap shoes, a pink leotard and tights. Oh and I ran to target and grabbed a little pink-flowered tutu just for the heck of it.

Please, please, please don't let me become a stage mom. I don't know what happened to me when Petra tried on her outfit. I got positively giddy. I started to have visions of her becoming the youngest dancer to ever get accepted to the NY City Ballet Company. And that's just so.not.me.