Governor of Grammar

I met the governor of grammar today, and I'm not sure she likes me. I made a few minor changes to some copy she had written, mostly for word choice and sentence structure, but a few for grammar.
Don't you know she was all over me for an extraneous hyphen I inserted into an edit? I mean, she could've ignored the hyphen (I had forgotten the "easily remembered" rule) and not made a big deal of it, but instead she sent me an email WITH THE RULE EMBEDDED to make her point. Necessary?

Sigh. I know she wasn't happy I had edited the text in the first place, but really...

I see whiny people

And I really don't like them. PAs too. All I know is this: if you're upset, don't go whine to your boss and have him send me an email. Call me directly.

Isn't there so old axiom about bees and honey???

Blah blah blah

I have been on conference calls all day. I've gotten up to pee (twice) and grab something quick for lunch. That's it. Otherwise, I have been glued to my seat listening to and participating in calls.

Which isn't so bad except that it's hard to get work done when you're actually on calls. The calls are useful because you talk about what needs to get done, but rarely do you accomplish anything on a call. And that means I've gotten very little done today.

In my head

I have this song called Under the Sea stuck in my head. It's from the movie The Little Mermaid, which I have seen at least ten times (no lie) thanks to my four-year old. There is one line of the song in particular that seems to be stuck in auto-replay mode:

"Under the sea. Under the sea.

Nobody beat us, fry us and eat us in fricassee."

I'm really thinking this is a sign. Indicating what, I'm not sure. But it must be a sign, yes?

So now it gets beautiful

I've been in Florida since Sunday and it's been cold, rainy or both. The day I leave - to head back home to a snowstorm, mind you - it turns sunny and 70-degrees.

That damn Murphy and his stupid law.

An Important Skill

I need to hold a presentation skills class. Seriously. I watch people who are experts in their field completely blow their credibility because they cannot speak in public.

Never ceases to amaze me.

Oy!

So, I'm at my sales meeting and stupidly I agreed to go running with a group tomorrow morning.

Um. They're running at 5:30am. In the pitch black.

AND, they're running five miles, something I haven't done in eons.

AND, they're running at 5:30. A.M.

It's a bad idea, yes? Not only will I be humiliated by these skinny-bodied runners, but also I'll be cold, tired and trailing their non-asses.

Note to self: stop saying YES to everything!

Words you don't expect to hear...

... as an adult:

"Pay attention, Michelle!"

Yes, someone actually said that to me. To *ME*. In a real business conversation. With lots of other folks listening on. Grrrr....

What am I, five?

Craptastic!

An employee of mine (and friend) is leaving the company. I hired her two years ago and while she's moved on to work for other folks, we've grown close. But she quit. And I hate her for it.

No, not really.

But I am upset. I mean, how can she just up-and-leave me? Whose top coat am I going to borrow when my nails go dull? Who's going to fix my travel when I screw it up? And most importantly, who am I going to gossip with at lunch?

Sigh. I'm happy for her, really. She was offered a nice job, close to home with a bump in salary. Who could blame her?

But to quote Gus from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Leonor, "why you won leave me?"
____________
P.S. Yes, Al and Natche. I understand this is what happens when you socialize at work. You make friends, they leave or get promoted (or you leave and get promoted) and then, guess what, you're not friends anymore. So why bother, yes?

The first of many...

I plan to write several posts about my recent business trip to Las Vegas. But I can't do it all right now.

So for now, I'll just throw this out. Where do you think this picture was taken?

Whew!

I did *not* delete my entire Sent mail file. It is safe and sound where it belongs. In my Sent mail file.

An open letter to the women with whom I work

Dear ladies,
I have a growing concern for the hygiene practices (or lack thereof) of the women in this company. Ladies, you are gross. You really are.

If I could ask, nay beg, please take heed of the following suggestions:

1. Stop peeing on the toilet seats. Or if you accidentally sprinkle, please clean it up. I'm tired of getting my ass wet!
2. Flush the toilets. Nobody needs to see your business. Especially if you had a spicy burrito or nasty fish (you know who you are) for lunch.
3. And if you must relieve your bowels completely, please have the decency to use the scented spray provided by our company. It's. What. It's. There. For.

Look, we only have one bathroom on this floor and we all must share this precious resource.

Your attention to the matter is greatly appreciated.