What, me worry?

Asking me to not worry is like asking me to not breathe: it can't be done consciously. I'm hard wired to worry about anything and everything, especially when it comes to my offspring. It's the only reason I despise business travel - I can't go into my kids' rooms at night to make sure they're still breathing.

Sure, I can call. And yes, I can talk to my husband (when he chooses to answer the phone), but it's not the same thing. I'm not comfortable until I can see my girls with my own eyes; lay my hand on their backs and hear their contended sighs.

I knew motherhood was difficult, but I didn't realize that it would hurt this much to be away from my kids. It's such a fierce pain.

Petra and Raya, you remember this: your mother *hated* to be away from you when you were young and would've packed you in her suitcase if it were legal.

Ah, the life of a short-timer

It should come as no surprise to many of you that I've resigned my position as Vice President of Marketing for a large marketing services firm. If it does, sorry, but I've tried to reach out to as many folks as possible; I haven't been as successful as I would've liked.

So you know, I've been offered another Veep Marketing position at a much smaller company. But I'll be running the show, something I coudn't do in my current position given the sheer size of the organization. This opportunity allows me to take the next logical step in my career.

In the meantime, I want to reflect on what it feels like to be a short-timer. It's unusual; once you give your notice you become George Bush and people treat you differently...like you don't count as much. Maybe I don't.

Overall though, it's been an interesting couple of weeks. Some observations:

• The initial swarm. I received a number of emails, phone calls and drop-ins from folks sad to see me go. It was touching. I guess when you stay at one place for 5.5 years, you're bound to make a few friends. But even folks I barely knew reached out. One person told me he was "crying on the inside, but happy for me". Another just sent me a message with the subject line, "bummer".
• Acceptance. Folks are in the acceptance phase right now. I've been asked to finish up a few projects, which I will do gladly, but for the most part, my team is trying to do business as usual and figure out how to work without me. My last day is next Wednesday so I certainly won't start anything new and my team is already reporting to someone else. So yes, I am working and yes, I am productive...but just not as much as before.
• Departure. My exit interview is next Wednesday and I fully expect to wrap up most of my work by Monday afternoon/Tuesday morning. And then what? I don't start in my new position until the 5th, so what do I do? Go to the mall? Sunbathe? Have the children play hooky? Sit at home and do a Deadliest Catch marathon? I.have.no.clue.

Anyhoo, I'll update you all on my whereabouts once I start my new job. Until then, please feel free to reach out. For some reason, I have so much more free time...

The phone stops ringing...

So, one day, your phone rings off the hook...literally. You have 15 people who need 15 different things from you at the same time, which is now. You don't eat, you don't pee, and you certainly don't sleep well. You go in early; you leave late. It's not good.

Then, something happens. You make the call. You proclaim, I will not do this any longer, and lo and behold, the phone stops ringing. You're no longer plagued by the constant nightmare in which you're being chased by a large pile of work and it gets closer and you think it will eventually consume you. You go to work late; you leave early. And you sleep. The blessed sleep of babes. It's amazing.

Now, it won't last forever, and you certainly don't delude yourself into thinking it will. But for now, it is the best feeling in the world.

Bikram kicked my ass!

This will be quick. I think you've noticed by now that I have absolutely no time (and I mean, zero) to post. I feel like my life has been put on fast-forward and I don't see anyone hitting the pause button anytime soon.

Anyhoo, last night I attended my first Bikram yoga class ever (well, almost ever. I attended ONE class about eight years ago). I've taken power yoga before at Baron Baptiste's studio and it too is taught in a room set at well over 90-degrees. But last night was ridiculous. It was seriously well over 100-degrees and I baked in there for more than 90 minutes. I thought I was going to pass out...and at one point wished I would.

That said, I did the class and will most likely go back later this week for another torture session. Let's face it, any time you sweat that much, you have to be losing weight. And I really need to relieve some of the stress and tension that's causing my left trap to ache every time I pick up the phone or type for too long. Isn't yoga good for that?

So, apparently you can't do it all.

At least that's what I'm starting to believe. This week I've:

• Been to NY and back in the same day (thus pulling a 16+-hour workday)
• Handled major work crisis
• Had my hair colored and my eyebrows and lip waxed (and at the same time got the name of a good cosmetic dermatologist!)
• Worked another two 10 hour days (putting me just shy of 40 hours in the first three days of the week. Ramping up for yet ANOTHER 60 hour work week)

Here's what I haven't done:

• Spent enough time with my children

Ugh. I got home last night with enough time to feed Petra and get her settled and then snuggle Raya for five minutes before she passed out for the night.

Methinks my priorities might be a bit whacked.